Desperate Houswives and Pathological Liars

I just have to vent! I live on a street filled with desperate housewives. There is one lady who everyday (rain or shine) sits in her very exposed backyard wearing her very exposed bikini. Directly behind her house..not even 10 feet away is a building where Marines work. So everyday she lays out and even mows her yard in her bikini. Of course this a source of entertainment for the Marines..they can't help but stare (after all they are guys). Her poor husband is in Afghanistan fighting. I wonder if he knows how his wife acts or even if he cares. Please have a little self-respect women! Military wifes are famous for their extracurricular activities while their husbands are deployed. I am not saying all of them....just the really really young ones! My husband worked with a Marine who was married to a sixteen year old who was pregnant. However, he did not know if the child was his or not because she cheated on him while he was gone for an exercise. Crazy!!!! Another example of just plain desperation. Last year on my son's birthday March 19, I receive a phone call at 11:00 p.m...of course I was still awake. I am a night owl! But the only reason this lady knew I was awake was because our garage door was open where my husband and my brother in law Ruben were hanging out. She called saying that she was sick and afraid that she might pass out while her child was sleeping. I went across the street and asked what I could do to help. She rocked back and forth started telling me that her hands were going numb. Then she freaked out and said that her mouth was getting swollen. She started freaking out and yelling help. I was getting a little pissed now..because I could tell she was just being a drama queen. I called 911 and my husband ran over when he heard her yelling for help. This is the funny part...she told my husband to rub her hands. So here is my poor husband rubbing her hands looking at me like "HELP!" The ambulance and the fire truck showed up and poooof all of a sudden she was feeling much better. They told her that she probably had a anxiety attack. Later she told me that she knew that she was having a stroke from her birth control pills. Helllllloooooo wouldn't the paramedics take you away if they saw that you were having a stroke??? This woman is beyond weird. She also told me that her friend ( a girl in the air force) bombed Afghanistan and that she was retiring at the age of 25! Wow, first of all female pilots in the air force are not allowed to fly into combat zones and secondly...how could anyone retire at the age of 25 in the military???? Thirdly, I am sure that whoever bombed Afghanistan would not be allowed to just randomly disclose that kind of info to just anyone. I just shook my head and said "Really....wow, that is interesting." All the while thinking "She must think that I am a complete idiot." Last week I took my son Matthew to buy a new toy. I heard her in the store...I tried to hide behind the ailes...didn't work. She told me that she accidentally broke her two year olds nose while playing golf. I didn't know what to say to that one. I think I had a deer in the headlight face. Anyway I have met some truly wonderful people that are completely normal....but for the most part some of these military wives are off their rockers!

The Aloha Spirit

My husband went out and bought an alarm for the car yesterday. I told him that he should have it professionally done..however, he likes to fix things himself. Typical! Anyway we haven't had an alarm on the car since we got the dang thing. He decides to get this awful talking one...it is soooo embarrassing! He thinks it is funny..trust me it's not! We had to get an alarm after some of our friends got their car broken into in a parking lot. The windows weren't broken or anything..the car looked completely normal. They took her purse and everything that was in the car. She had locked the purse in the trunk and they went through the car to get it. Anyone who has lived in Hawaii long enough knows that you should never never leave anything in the car....ever! Tourists see the beauty and tranquility of Waikiki, they don't usually see the problems that Hawaii has. Hawaii doesn't have a high murder rate or scary crimes...it does have a high rate of theft and burglary. During Christmas time 90 houses were broken into in the same neighborhood. A lot of these thefts are directly linked to the huge ice problem that Hawaii has. It is because of this that we now have a talking alarm! So if you are ever in Hawaii remember to never leave anything valuable in your car or you too can feel the power of the Aloha Spirit!

Super Dog and Victorias Secret

Hmm what a day! I accepted to babysit my neighbors two little chihuahuas for a couple of hours. These are two very spoiled little doggy dogs! Very! They wear $40.00 dollar sweaters and they have monthly treats at the doggie spa. Anyway yesterday was just one of those days were my mind was on other things..not watching the dogs. I had this accounting project from the dark side and my group members were not participating..go figure. So I was on the phone with my friend trying to work through it.....when it happend. It was very very quiet in my house...too quiet. I thought hmmm where is my son and Goldie(one of the chihuahuas). I walked in the kitchen and low and behold my son Matthew (who is almost three) unlocked the sliding glass door and let Goldie out. Did I mention that the dogs owners are both Marines? Dual beatdown if I lost their precious dog. So I ran outside in my very comfy Victorias Secret pajamas in the soggy wet grass calling for this crazy dog. I ran up and down the neighborhood...no shoes, no socks (and unfortunately for me no bra). I think the guys working on the roof next door liked it though. Perves! Anyway Goldie the superdog (he had a red superman sweater on) finally showed up in my backyard. I guess the lesson is that I am not a good dogsitter! Chihuahuas be damned!